S[h]ave me

The only thing which I hate apart from attending business meetings and watching saas-bahu soaps, is Shaving.
I love sporting a beard. I shave only when it is necessary ie. only if I have to go for some Business Meeting to meet our clients or if I am going to meet some girl. Now I also shave before going for any family functions.

There are many reasons for my hate of shaving. My skin is very sensitive. Whenever I shave; due to razor many small rivulets of blood are formed all over my face. In order to avoid infection I use after-shave which literally makes me cry. So just imagine how I look after shaving with tears and blood all over face. Nope don’t worry I don’t look like one of those villain in Hindi movie who look as if they have been receiving kicks and punches since ages. But I do look very repulsive.
Another reason is that I am too lazy. It feels very boring to shave. So for weeks even months I keep my beard unshaved.
I belong to an orthodox Hindu family. According to my father you should shave your moustache and tonsure your head only when there is death in family. In my family every one is having a moustache. Not having moustache is considered to be anti-religious.

Irrespective of above reasons I like keeping beard and moustache.

When I was doing my engineering I had decided that I will never shave. In a week I used to trim my beard with scissor. Once my friend Umesh brought an Electronic Shaver. He suggested me to use it for trimming instead of scissors. Now I am a person with minimal IQ. Even though I was being trained to become a mechanical engineer I found this small instrument too tough to use. Then my friend Rohan Shetty volunteered to trim my beard with it. This guy along with many others hostel mates had numerous times suggested me to shave my beard and moustache. According to them I looked like a baboon with all the thick keratin strands on my face.
So this Rohan did a great thing. He directly placed the shaver on my moustache and within seconds half of my moustache gone. When you use electronic shver you don’t get the feeling of hair being cut. So before I can understand whats happening; half of my moustache was gone. Suddenly people standing in my room started giggling and then started laughing out loud. I ran to see what great act the guy had performed on my moustache. My world fell apart seeing my reflection in mirror. My half moustache looked like a soaring bird with one of its wing clipped.
Later I did not have any other option but to sacrifice my remaining half moustache. I shaved my moustache and grand beard leaving a clean face behind. Every weekend I used to go to my home from hostel. That weekend I made an excuse and did not go.
Next day when I went to college I saw people staring me in a weird manner. Infact many did not even recognize me. As I entered canteen everyone looked at me and suddenly whole canteen was laughing. I felt very awkward and directly went for my lecture. My professor saw me and after few seconds recognized me. This Professor, who was taking lecture, was one of the most serious professors of college. But from his face I was able to make out that he was trying hard not to laugh. That was the first time and probably the last time when I had shaved my moustache. That day onwards my moustache is intact.

…….Enough of this story.
Ganesh Utsav has arrived. For a week I will be spending most of my time in temple. This is the time when all the beautiful girls of my society visit the temple.
So I am off to shave. Adios. Where the hell is my razor?