School days

I got hold of this in a mail. Remembered the old school days when I used to go on practising Integration and derivatives night after night. The last pic is truly
great.

Encounter

At night I came home and was greeted by an unwelcome guest. He had made himself comfortable in a corner of room. That was a cockroach.


I have dreaded fear of this creature. What is it called…cock-o-phobia…er…no. People can misunderstand. Cockroahophobia. Ya this is perfect. I remembered the scene of Mr India and decided to call bachcha party to tackle this situation. I called Harit and Milind. Fortunately milind was not there. He was invited and was away to solve serious controversial issue among his friends.In the mean time I tried to use HIT on cockroach...the only weapon of mass destruction I had.After some time Harit came to my rescue.


Armed with a jhadu he started searching for the intruder till [he]we got hold of him.
In one whack he was half murdered and then we disposed him off in dustbin.


Triumphant Harit came to me as I stood on corner of bed.
Like a honourable underworld contract killer he said,
"Bhaiyya, Khallas kar diya usko....ab bed se niche aa jao."

Relived i got down from bed.
Ek aur dharti ka bojh kam hua.

Sunday outing

Sunday was amazing. I got up in morning(11 o’ clock)and was having morning tea when Harit and Milind(2 naughty kids of my landlord Mr Sharma) came to me and said, “bhaiyya aaj party karte hain”.
Party!!!. I asked ,”Kyon bhai”.


Milind told,”Aaj Sunday hai isliye party karte hain”.
I told fine. And forgot about it. Everything was fine till evening when Harsh(nephew of sharmaji) came to my room and asked me where have I planned to give party.
“Party? What party?”
“Milind told us that you are giving us party for some reasons. So we have decided to go Nirula’s in Faridabad in evening.”
Did I say that? I told Harsh that I have not told any such thing to Milind and that he was just playing his usual pranks. Harsh went away.
I thought that chapter is closed.
But in evening Sharmaji called me and told me that all of them are ready for party.
Party? What Party?. I told Sharmaji that I am not giving any party as there is no reason for that. To this everyone replied that they are ready and since they are ready for party its my job to give party( Good logic).
Hey whats this. Later I agreed.
We got ready and headed for Nirula’s in Faridabad.

Reaching Nirula’s first we went for Fun center and started playing games.


Milind and Harit went on to play Video games.


Sharmaji and Bhabi played Ice Hockey.


Myself and Harsh went to play Pool. Later we were joined by Sharmaji too. We all don’t know the rules of Pool and went on striking the balls where ever we want. It was sort of playing carom on pool table.
Later again we played Ice Hockey.



After the games we went to the restaurant.


Harit seemed to have enjoyed the evening more than anyone else.
So I ended up giving party for no reasons. Aneways the Sunday was very entertaining.

Departure of Bapuji,Opium Rice,Bathroom muzic,Akshi calling....

I am so happy today. Royal Bengal Tiger is going back to his den. That is my father is going back to Mumbai. After a week of hassle I am free now…I cant express how happy I was to see Rajdhani speed away from Nizammudin station. It took me two full days to clean my room. After lot of jhanjat and mehnat everything was in place. I hid all my music CDs and porn magazines, remove all the posters from wall…after lot hardship I was very happy at my hard work just hours before my fathers arrival I rechecked everything in room. “Sab cheez thikane pe laga diya. Ab bapu ko lene chalte hain”(everything is in place now. Lets go to pick father). At that moment bhabhiji(Mrs Sharma, my landlady) happened to come and saw my room. She told” Arre Abhishek, ghar khali kar ke jaa rahe ho kya”
I told” Nahin bhabhi aaj Dad aa rahe hain is liye saari safai ki hai”.
“Oh ok, wohi main soch rahi thi Abhishek sudhar kasie gaya”.
My dad was at my place for a week and it was too tiresome for me. ..My life was hell this week. I used to get up at wee hour(that’s 7 O clock) ;start brushing my teeth and prepare morning tea. In my CD player bhajans aarti were played from the CDs that I borrowed from Sharmaji.

Now he is gone!!!
Now I am again free. I can sleep now again up to 11 AM, eat noodles, party at home with friends, no keeping clothes in cupboard, washing plates, cooking…now I will sleep with Madonna and wake up with metallica.

Yesterday I went toSubrata’s home in Gurgaon. It was so hot in Delhi yesterday. Till I reached her home my brain was cooked like an egg. We discussed there about our clients on whom we were slowly losing grip. She told me that her meeting with companies in Mumbai was very good and soon we will be getting more clients for our software. Whenever I go to Subrata’s home I get something new to eat….usually traditional Bengali food…. After our discussion I sat to eat with his Father in law, son and Subrata herself. While eating I liked the vegetable of Potato. She told that it is seasoned with opium ie ganja..I was shocked. “ Subrata you have put ganja in it”. She laughed and told ”Abhishek dont worry I am not intoxicating you. Its our traditional food. Bengalis season vegetables with opium.” That was really new to me.

Today I did a great thing. I have attached my music system in bathroom. That was idea of my friend Viral Ponda which I aped. And its really fun taking bath with music on. That is the reason for myself taking bath 3 times today also the other reason being the unbearable heat. The first song to play in the system was the toilet song “Jhalak Dikhlaja” which Himesh Reshamiya wrote while her girl friend was taking bath.lol
I have started preparing food at home. Thanks to my sweet father. Whole week he gave me training to cook Dal and chawal. Today I cooked Capsicum and ate it with rice. I had cooked too much and it was cooked well as result I ended up eating more than I am accustomed to. It feels so good to eat the food you yourself have prepared.
After eating food I had not any energy left to stand up and went to lay on bed. At that moment I had a missed call on my cell. I did not care. Then again missed call came. This is one of the things that I hate the most. Yaar why you have to give a missed call to a person? Just call a person if you need to talk. Again I had one more missed call…this was the third one. I thought some one must be in problem. I got up and looked at the number. I called back. Following was the conversation….the one in italics is what I thought.

Me: Hello
Caller: heeeheeee….(a girls voice)
Kaun hai yaar ghode ki aawaz mein
Me : Kaun hai bhai…
Caller : main bhai nahin hoon…
Me: toh kaun ho yaar
Caller : hehehe…main Akshi….hehehehe
Arre yaar itni raat
Me: Hi Akshi after so many days…Tu Zinda hai.Mujh ko to laga tha tu….
Akshi: hehehe…..nahin main mar gayi hoon. Yeh mera bhoot hai.
thankgod
Me: bhootji itne raat ko kyon yaad kiya?
yawn
Akshi: Pune kab aa rahe ho ?
Kaam dhanda nahin hai kya mujhe ?
Me : Nahin yaar I wont be able to come to Pune now. Actually my stay in Mumbai is cancelled therefore the visit to Pune also.
l I can think on it again if you will pay for my visit and stay there…
Akshi: Thik hai…this is my new number save kar lo …bye..I may come to delhi and you have to pay for my Visit and stay.
arre mera dialogue Yeh kya hai yaar
Me : thik hai yaar.

She cut the phone with her patented trade mark giggle. Well that’s one of the many things that I like in her.
Its after a long time some friend had remembered me. Nahin to mujhe yaad hi kaun karta hai.
My plans to stay in Mumbai for summers is totally ruined. I have to be in Delhi for being cooked like summer loo. Its already so hot and people say that the real heat is yet to come. I thought of swimmimng this whole summers…but the hell theres no swimming pool in this part of delhi.
Waise bhi yahan peene ko paani nahin hai….swimming ke liye khak paani ho ga. But theres a big gutter(actually its Yamuna river) behind our society. I may try that….anything to keep myself cool.

White House Bangalored!

Dump Terry McAuliffe reports on the outsourcing coup of the century

CONGRESS today announced that the office of President of the United States of America will be outsourced to India as of December 30, 2006.
The move is being made to save the President’s $400,000 yearly salary, and also a record $521 billion in deficit expenditures and related overhead the office has incurred during the last five years.
“We believe this is a wise move financially. The cost savings should be significant,” stated Congressman Thomas Reynolds (RWA). Reynolds, with the aid of the Government Accounting Office, has studied outsourcing of American jobs extensively. “We cannot expect to remain competitive on the world stage with the current level of cash outlay,” Reynolds noted.
Mr Bush was informed by e-mail this morning of his termination. Preparations for the job move have been underway for sometime. Gurvinder Singh of Indus Teleservices, Mumbai, India will be assuming the Office of President as of December 30.
Mr Singh was born in the United States while his Indian parents were vacationing at Niagara Falls, thus making him eligible for the position. He will receive a salary of $320 (USD) a month but with no health coverage or other benefits.
It is believed that Mr Singh will be able to handle his job responsibilities without a support staff. Due to the time difference between the US and India, he will be working primarily at night, when few offices of the US government will be open. “Working nights will allow me to keep my day job at the American Express call center” stated Mr Singh in an exclusive interview. “I am excited about this position. I always hoped I would be President someday.”
A Congressional spokesperson noted that while Mr Singh may not be fully aware of all the issues involved in the office of President, this should not be a problem because Mr Bush was not familiar with the issues either. Mr Singh will rely upon a script tree that will enable him to respond effectively to most topics of concern. Using these canned responses, he can address common concerns without having to understand the underlying issues at all.
“We know these scripting tools work,” stated the spokesperson. “President Bush has used them successfully for years.” Mr Singh may have problems with the Texas drawl, but lately Bush has abandoned the “down home” persona in his effort to appear intelligent and on top of the Katrina situation. Bush will receive health coverage, expenses, and salary until his final day of employment. Following a two week waiting period, he will be eligible for $240 a week unemployment for 13 weeks. Unfortunately he will not be eligible for Medicaid, as his unemployment benefits will exceed the allowed limit.
Mr Bush has been provided the outplacement services of Manpower, Inc. to help him write a resume and prepare for his upcoming job transition. According to Manpower Dept , Mr Bush may have difficulties in securing a new position due to limited practical work experience. A greeter position at Wal-Mart was suggested due to Bush’s extensive experience shaking hands and his phony smile.
Another possibility is Bush’s re-enlistment in the Texas Air National Guard. His prior records are conspicuously vague but should he choose this option, he would likely be stationed in Waco, TX for a month, before being sent to Iraq, a country he has visited.
“I’ve been there, I know all about Iraq,” stated Mr Bush, who gained invaluable knowledge of the country in a visit to the Baghdad Airport’s terminal and gift shop.
Sources in Baghdad and Falluja say Mr Bush would receive a warm reception from local Iraqis. They have asked to be provided with details of his arrival so that they might arrange an appropriate welcome.
(Courtesy: Daily Kos)

Future Tense...Past Tense...

What will happen in future you just can’t imagine. I pondered today on this and was amazed. In my life I have seen enemies turning to friends, once powerful people turning weakest and so on. If I would have known about my future in past, I would have laughed at myself and others.

I still remember in my school days my tuition teacher made me stand and gave a long lecture to be a good student. I was too naughty for the class. He proclaimed in front of everyone that, “Abhishek, you wont be able to do anything in your life. You are hopeless and useful for nothing. You will never learn to be productive in life.” During my last visit to Mumbai I met the same teacher. I told him about my life in Delhi and the work I am doing. He told that he meets my parents and knows about me. My brother and my Sister were also educated under him. He had predicted that Vivek and Anjali(my bro and my sis) will excel in life and cannot say anything bout me. But as things stand today…I am doing much better than any of his students (a fact which he knows). I was very happy to meet him. He talked to me very respectfully and in the end told,” Abhishek, I knew you will be going far ahead than the expectations of others. I always wanted to see you in this position. Best of Luck for your future.” After hearing these words I thought is he the same teacher who said something totally opposite 8 years back?

I used to hate Didar and Vijay. They were always a pain for me. But when I met them recently they were so happy to meet me. Didar and I remembered the old schooldays and the pranks we played on teachers. Didar was sort of student who was not too good in studies and was a big pain for teachers. Today he works for a big IT firm and is a successful man. Like mine, even his IT firm makes software for CRM
He is still the same guy; funny and humorous. I used to be so jealous of Jaydeep, Ravi and Ankur. We were competitors. I always used to get happy when they were in problem…but now; they are my best Pals. Ravi was with me in my junior college. He was so helpful whenever I used to be in problem. We became very good friends thereafter helping each other. Now even if he scored good marks than me, I used to get happy instead of being jealous like in school. Same was with Jaydeep. First time I came to know how it feels good on enjoying your friends Victory. And the trend continues till date. Jaydeep is really good guy. For any major decision I consult Jaydeep and so does he. I got a call from him a month back. He told that he was bored with the computer and networking job in VSNL and wanted to do something interesting and challenging. He told me that he has got an offer from a UK company for Sales and Marketing. He asked me whether he should join that firm as that will be totally different field for him. I told him to take the chance by joining this new company. He joined it and now sometimes consults me about job as I have made my career out of selling. I feel very happy when I see my friends excelling in their respective fields.

When I was in 9th Std I started liking one of my classmate. She was one of the toppers of class. I was new entrant in this category. I liked her for unknown reasons. There were many other pretty good looking girls in class….but something in her attracted me. She was very sincere and serious towards studies. She rarely mingled with rest of the class except her small group. My friends came to know that I like her and slowly this news leaked to her. From that time she stopped talking to me. Obviously no good girl will entertain these things at that age…..specially if it involves guy like me who is far from being good looking or handsome. I used wait for her arrival in school and secretly watch her when ever I got opportunity. She used to hate me for this. Things were same up to my 10th. For 2 years we never talked. After the school I joined college and then Engineering College. She used to stay in our next building. I used to see her couple of times in month but never dared to look towards her. The story was finished. The little fire of childhood slowly diminished with time and then was blown away. I forgot about her during my engineering days. Then one day I mistakenly called her assuming her to be another of our classmate. When she revealed who she was…I was shocked. I expected that she will cut the phone… but no. She talked to me. And that too nicely. We chatted for a while about our work and a bit about school days. I had never imagined even in my dreams that one day I will talk to her. After I kept the phone …I laughed out loud. Talking to her was like some old farthest dream come true….and it happened so unexpectedly that I was amazed.
Now we talk to each other once in a while…..though the school days chapter is fully closed. If anyone would have told me that this girl is going to talk to you….I would have laughed at the thought. Time is so powerful.

Ravi has made a Yahoo group in which all the old school friends with whom I had lost contact are coming together. What else everyone has changed now. This seems to be a beginning of new relationship between old pals.