S[h]ave me

The only thing which I hate apart from attending business meetings and watching saas-bahu soaps, is Shaving.
I love sporting a beard. I shave only when it is necessary ie. only if I have to go for some Business Meeting to meet our clients or if I am going to meet some girl. Now I also shave before going for any family functions.

There are many reasons for my hate of shaving. My skin is very sensitive. Whenever I shave; due to razor many small rivulets of blood are formed all over my face. In order to avoid infection I use after-shave which literally makes me cry. So just imagine how I look after shaving with tears and blood all over face. Nope don’t worry I don’t look like one of those villain in Hindi movie who look as if they have been receiving kicks and punches since ages. But I do look very repulsive.
Another reason is that I am too lazy. It feels very boring to shave. So for weeks even months I keep my beard unshaved.
I belong to an orthodox Hindu family. According to my father you should shave your moustache and tonsure your head only when there is death in family. In my family every one is having a moustache. Not having moustache is considered to be anti-religious.

Irrespective of above reasons I like keeping beard and moustache.

When I was doing my engineering I had decided that I will never shave. In a week I used to trim my beard with scissor. Once my friend Umesh brought an Electronic Shaver. He suggested me to use it for trimming instead of scissors. Now I am a person with minimal IQ. Even though I was being trained to become a mechanical engineer I found this small instrument too tough to use. Then my friend Rohan Shetty volunteered to trim my beard with it. This guy along with many others hostel mates had numerous times suggested me to shave my beard and moustache. According to them I looked like a baboon with all the thick keratin strands on my face.
So this Rohan did a great thing. He directly placed the shaver on my moustache and within seconds half of my moustache gone. When you use electronic shver you don’t get the feeling of hair being cut. So before I can understand whats happening; half of my moustache was gone. Suddenly people standing in my room started giggling and then started laughing out loud. I ran to see what great act the guy had performed on my moustache. My world fell apart seeing my reflection in mirror. My half moustache looked like a soaring bird with one of its wing clipped.
Later I did not have any other option but to sacrifice my remaining half moustache. I shaved my moustache and grand beard leaving a clean face behind. Every weekend I used to go to my home from hostel. That weekend I made an excuse and did not go.
Next day when I went to college I saw people staring me in a weird manner. Infact many did not even recognize me. As I entered canteen everyone looked at me and suddenly whole canteen was laughing. I felt very awkward and directly went for my lecture. My professor saw me and after few seconds recognized me. This Professor, who was taking lecture, was one of the most serious professors of college. But from his face I was able to make out that he was trying hard not to laugh. That was the first time and probably the last time when I had shaved my moustache. That day onwards my moustache is intact.

…….Enough of this story.
Ganesh Utsav has arrived. For a week I will be spending most of my time in temple. This is the time when all the beautiful girls of my society visit the temple.
So I am off to shave. Adios. Where the hell is my razor?

Tsunami+Earthquake+Volcano

If you people are wondering where I had disappeared for few weeks then the answer is my life was in disarray due to 3 terrorists.
Last couple of weeks was horrible for me. My cousin Sisters had come to our place for Rakhi. They came with their 3 kids. I was very happy to see these three cute kiddos. But in just one day they showed their true colors. Later I realized that our home is ravaged by Tsunami+Earthquake+Volcano. Within a day of their esteemed arrival our sweet home looked as if it’s hit by Stinger missile.

These three kids are great. Very Great.
This first one…eldest of the three is Mr bush. He doesn’t fear anyone and is addicted to newspapers. By newspaper I didn’t mean reading newspapers. He loves Spreading news paper all over the home after tearing them to bits. There is no drawer or closet in our home which was untouched by his love of adventure. He played a major role is transforming the Vastu of our home. After many years our home looked not like a home.

This is the Youngest of the lot. He is still bed ridden and cannot sit straight obviously he cannot even walk on four legs. I really thank god for this. Coz if he would have been able to walk he would have been a disaster. No one would have capability to stop his rampage.
The only job he does whole day is to drink milk and turn it into uric acid. He has blessed me many times with shower of his holy pee.

The lady on far right is reincarnation of Margaret Thatcher. If she wants any thing…then she will have it. No one can stop her from having what she wants. If she doesn’t get what she wants she will cry in a voice loud enough to shake our apartment’s foundation. She stayed in our home for a very less time. Comparatively she was also quietest of the lot. While I was carrying her in my hands, she got hold of computer mouse. She did experiment with earth’s gravity and resulting in imminent death of my lovely mouse. I helpless for a day coz its pretty tiresome to work on PC without mouse.

Whole family more or less enjoyed the presence of these kids. I saw totally different (weird)side of my father when he sang lori for the kids. My mom told my sisters to save their respective kids from my father if they don’t want them to turn deaf.

By 14th August all these kids went to their respective home and I heaved a sigh of relief.
On 15th August, ie our Independence, I celebrated with great pomp and splendor, coz this is the first time I came to know the real meaning of independence. After many years I celebrated this day. I saw small kids of my building running around with tricolor in their hands. I brought them all together and told them to stand in a line. Then we started doing march pass around our building. Left Right left Right. All the people in building were amused see the kids marching. They smiled at them and gave me a weird look. They failed to understand what the a hell this guy with big beard is doing with kids.
Aneways we enjoyed a lot. Then I winded up the celebration with short speech to children on importance and history of independence.

Afterword:
Now I really miss my nephews and niece. So does our entire family. In a day or two I will be starting my visit-nephew-niece expedition.

Ak 47

I got a very good news piece in old newspaper about AK 47 rifles.
Click on the pic to read the contents.
A question came in my mind, what does Ak in AK 47 stands for?
Does anyone know the answer?

Encounter

Sometimes things happen unexpectedly, which you think only happens in films.
Something amazing happened last week which I am going to share with all you now.

Background:
I have a friend Manisha. I have never met her. We came across each other in an Orkut community. We regularly shared our views on branding, marketing, business etc. Then we started having chat on Google talk. But all conversation used to be restricted to business and marketing. On my birthday early in morning I got an Sms , wishing me, from her which somewhat shocked me. From that day onwards we shared sms from each other…but never talked on phone. As days passed we became very good friend. Daily we used to meet on Google talk to have a chat. Our friendship was limited to Google Talk and mobile sms.


The Meeting
Last Monday I went Matunga to meet my friends at Welingar College. We had decided that from Wellingker we will go to Shivaji Park to hang around. I got down at Matunga Station. But I realized that it will be better to go there from Dadar station. So I started to come down from the over bridge of platform. While coming down I saw a girl slowly coming on the bridge from opposite direction. When she crossed me her face seemed pretty familiar. Just after 2 seconds I realized she is Manisha ( coz I had seen her pic in album of Orkut). But I was not fully sure bout it. So I went ahead without looking back and caught Train for Dadar. Then I forgot about this encounter.
I met my friends in Wellingker and from there we went to Shivaji Park.

At night
I came home late at night. But I wanted to know whether the girl in Matunga was really Manisha or some one else. So I came online on Google talk and she was online. I checked my mail box in which I had received her mail in which she wrote….”Were you in Matunga today?” I was shocked to the core. Then we had following chat,
The chat is bit jumbled coz we kept typing without reading the reply.

Manisha: pitamah
when did u cum online?
me: ek hi shan hua hai
arre Manisha
I saw u today
Manisha: u didnt
me: what?
Manisha: I saw u
me: no I saw u
Manisha: arre seriously
me: u were going on the bridge
Manisha: u didnt notice me
nope
me: I saw you
Manisha: u were wearing white
me: yup
Manisha: bingo
me: listen u were going above the bridge
and I was coming down
Manisha: I gave u a 2nd look
n I guess even u were confused
me: after 2 sec I realised it was you
Manisha: even I was not sure
me: but there was 0.01% doubt
Manisha: thats y didnt bother
in my case there was 0.01 sureity
me: this is what we call missing by hair
hahaha
Manisha: haha
me: you are quite tall
and thin
Manisha: destiny
hmm
me: aneways achchc hua tu nahi mili
Manisha: y?/
me: I am damn boring while talking
Manisha: next time if at all I c u I'll stop in the middle
Manisha: hmm
m really surprised yaar
the way we met was really a game of destiny
very filmy u can say
me: really yaar
Manisha: such things r difficult to believe
but today it happened
me: if I tell this to my freinds they wil laugh on me
Manisha: hehe
dont they trust u?
me: they trust me.....but is this story beleiveable
Manisha: haaha
me: aap dhanya ho devi
aap ki jai ho
Manisha: even I was not able to believe n thot it was 1 more luk alike of Srinath
seriously
me: and this situation ki bhi jai ho
goodness
I am so much close to srinath
looks wise
Manisha: yup
but how did u recognise me?
me: your face
Manisha: but i had a pony
me: and I was sure it was you.......with a trace of doubt
you were more thin than I expected
and taller to
too
Manisha: were?
m not so thin also
me: oh
Manisha: but yeah m tall
5'8
wats ur height?
me: 5 '8
wow
5 '10
Manisha: hmm
me: u know I never go out of home
Today i was out after many days
Manisha: u knw wat made me give u dat 2nd luk
me: and itna bada haadsa ho gaya
Manisha: was ur thin moustache
me: ya
oh
hehe
what was so great in moustache
?
Manisha: jus remembered ur pics
thats it
me: hmm
but dont I have Hritik combo personality
:))
Manisha: so??
how does it matter?
wat matters is the inner u
sometimes I wonder
me: waah waaah
Manisha: what if I were not gud luking??
me: tussi great ho really.I am not flattering
Manisha: I wudnt have had so many fake scraps n frdship appeals
me: hmm
Manisha: thats y I NEVER entertain ppl who compliment my luks
it jus irritates at times
me: Maatey aap jaisa mitr paakar ham dhanya hue
Manisha: that how foolish cud ppl be to fall for luks
me: yup
Manisha: no seriously
me: I agree with you
khana kha liya
Manisha: long bak
me: I just came home half an hour back
had food
switched on PC
11:42 PM Manisha: hmm
form today on I firmly believe in destiny
such things can happen
me: hahaha
11:43 PM Today my day was made.I met my best buddies today...my all old friend and
above all I saw u
Manisha: so?
big deal yaar
me: its a big deal for me
Manisha: k.
11:44 PM me: friends are everything for me
hey chalo got to go
11:45 PM lets see when we will bump again
bye
Manisha: ok boss


As expected I told this story to my friends.Most of them thought that its just my another usual crap ie. they didnt believe me.
Dont know bout my blogger friends.

Personality Test

I got link of this personality test from Vineeta's blog.Below were my results.

This is the Link of test.

Results:

Disorder Rating

Paranoid: Low
Schizoid: High
Schizotypal: Moderate
Antisocial: Low
Borderline: Low
Histrionic: Moderate
Narcissistic: Moderate
Avoidant: Very High
Dependent: High
Obsessive-Compulsive: Moderate

If I were Prime Minister

Yesterday I was going through my old notebooks searching for address of one my friends. At that time I came across a page on which my friend Harit had written an essay on ‘If I were a Prime Minister’. When I was in Delhi we had a power failure in afternoon. Harit and Milind who were enjoying cartoon on television came to me. I was engrossed in some work and inorder to keep them busy I gave then a topic to write an essay on it. Harit brought his own notebook and to Milind I gave my own book.
Harit, since he is grown up now, had written practical stuff. But Milind’s imagination great. What he has written is not clear in the pic therefore I have written it down…….I wont correct his grammatical mistakes and write it as it is.


If I were a Prime Minister

I want to become a Prime Minister then I will keep my name Gabber Singh.
Then I will rule India, then I said to make our India very very good then I solve our problem then I will see to it that India wins against Pakistan.
There is so much problem of water in India.
Then I will say to ON the motor like this.
I will solve water problem.
Then there is problem of dirt in Delhi.
Then I say to policeman to clean all the Delhi.
Then there is problem of light.
Then I take the inverter and fit it in all houses.
Then I say airforce pilot to clean all the houses.

Reading this I laughed like anything.